The Freedom of ‘I Don’t Know’
The only truth.
This week let’s start off with a quiz.
On a Saturday night, would you rather:
A) Go to a house party with live music and about 75 guests where you might know 2 of them.
B) Sit on the couch in a robe reading with your dog curled up nearby.
Whichever way you answered, I’m going to guess that the opposite choice may not be that appealing.
If you have read any of my other posts, you will know B has been winning out big time recently.
Unfortunately, this week I have also been thinking a lot about pointers. An image used in Zen to describe a pointer is a finger pointing at the moon. The finger isn’t the moon; but the pointing can direct your gaze there, and perhaps you’ll see it.
The pointer that got me by the throat this week is “I don’t know”. I have been reading a book, Pointers from Nisargadatta Maharaj by Ramesh Balsekar. In the book, Nisargadatta is quoted as saying “ ‘I don’t know.’ No one has ever spoken truer words than these. Indeed this is the only truth and everything else is false.” Frick. Don’t get me wrong. Nisargadatta is one of my favorite people. I was going to say on earth, but he is no longer living. His dialogues are potent and go straight to the crux of things. I aspire to be like him. He seems to be so happy when a student says ‘I don’t know’ to a question, Nisargadatta interjecting “Yes. Exactly!”
A Zen teacher, Zen Master Seung Sahn, once answered a student questioning him about the different schools of Buddhism saying “I don't teach Korean or Mahayana or Zen. I don't even teach Buddhism. I only teach don't know.”
But I knew if I really took in ‘I don’t know’ it might lead me to actually going to the party. Because all I was seeing was how little I have enjoyed other parties over the years.
I once heard someone say that we often drag the past up and throwi it in front of ourselves to become the future. This is what I saw myself doing! Stir in anxiety and stubbornness and this is a perfect cocktail for feeling stuck.
Fighting my husband all the way, I just took one step at a time (another great pointer) and ended up at one of the best parties I have ever attended. The food was sublime, everyone friendly and welcoming and the music converted me to adoring slack key guitar. The musicians were full of love and incredibly talented, all of it happening on a deck overlooking the ocean and the sunset.
You know I am not saying that this ‘I don’t know’ pointer is a formula! I may never end up at a party that I love like that again.
But it broke up a little of my stubborn ‘I already know how it will go’-ness.
Here is another wonderful pointer from the Indian sage, Neem Keroli Baba, who said “You can plan for a hundred years. But you don't know what will happen the next moment.”
Today I am grateful for that!
Thank you for reading, liking and commenting here. I love writing and your input is a beautiful boost for me.🙏
Great article! "I don’t know" has been my principle for a while now. I have spent my younger years often being ashamed or embarrassed for not knowing something. I know today that this is based on trauma showing up as perfectionism, workaholism, "I'm not enough" approach to life, and so much other things. But more important than that, today I realize that when we say "I know", we are closing off for the wisdom of the Universe/God/Spirit. We are saying, I'm not open to receive, I am not interested to co-create. This is the reason I also moved from a management consultant (who is supposed to know it all and feed it to others) to a Systemic Constellation Practioner (who is supposed to say I don't know and leave it to the field to show up). Thank you!
Wonderful Heidi! Wisdom rolling out. Much appreciated!