I am a 'changemaker' in recovery, meaning that I understood that is very arrogant of me to think that I know who people should become or what the world needs to look like. Today, I am of the belief that the trick is to keep myself evolving and healing on one side, and on the other side- keep deepening my understanding of the wiorld and keep engaging with the world without expectations, judgement, blame or fear. Somehow, when I manage to show up and connect open-minded and open-hearted, the world and people in fact seem different. So, I would say hell is perceiving other people without engaging with them. I used to say that if I spend quality time with even the worst person, I will find their humanity and explanation for their actions (explanation, not agreement ).
I love ‘changemaker in recovery’, Natalia. I am too! Thinking you can be a changemaker when deep down you know you aren’t able to do what you think you should is exhausting. I will say that the ability to engage with everyone is beyond me. So far I have found there are some people I have engaged with that can really wipe me out, sometimes for days. But ideally, even though I am not engaging, I can understand they have their path and it is the right one for them to follow. Thanks for commenting!
It's always nice to meet another ‘changemaker in recovery’. It is indeed exhausting to be on that path and I am glad I am off it- I think I had a few burnouts trying to do that! I did not imply that we need to engage with everyone- that's also pretty exhausting. 😍
No you didn’t! I think I was reflecting on how I have been driven for much of my life to engage, engage, engage. Engaging was the thing to do! These days I see how unfruitful and even damaging some of this driven engagement has been for me. Although I really enjoy engaging with you around these topics. Thanks, Natalia!
Oh, I relate to this. I spent the majority of my career surrounded by highly extroverted A personalities trying to be the same. "Engage, engage, engage" was the name of the game indeed. Very exhausting for an introvert like me...😂 Thanks, Heidi!
I resonate with this. I used to say, "There it's not a person in the world I couldn't love once I've heard their story." That's a bit different now - I love regardless of story! I now see that as a bridge pointer
Curious what you mean by "hell is perceiving other people without engaging with them," Natalia?
What I meant is that, on one side, when we judge people based only on our perception and without engaging with them to hear their point, we create stories about them that sound like hell but they are not truthful. We see this a lot in any polarizations. Then on the other side, you are right. The next stage is when we transcend this and we love them no matter what.
Heidi, I love this post and all of your writings and reflections. And the Sartre quote is one of my favorites, tho I don't repeat it much either!
I might add this:
There IS an Unconditional Peace available to us, That which we are. It's not necessarily "peaceful" or comfortable in the body-mind experience, but seated in the Self is the resting point of Stillness.
I believe what you are pointing to is mental or physical or emotional comfort or bliss, so to speak, no? That definitely comes and goes!
Here, the joke is that there is no individual desire to help or live as a bodhisattva. Yet, the work happens, the helping happens, and - I'm quite sure - the hell happens, too.
I can see the story about the people crawling through the desert and finding paradise would point to temporary bliss! I remember how much I thought that was what I was seeking for so many years.
I think the hell I see in myself and other people has a lot to do with clinging to how it’s supposed to be. It’s painful seeing this!
Appreciate the reminder that Peace can be there even in hell. Also that it all happens- work, helping and hell.
Thinking of the Zen proverb appropriate for this time of year- “Spring comes and the grass grows on its own.”
I am a 'changemaker' in recovery, meaning that I understood that is very arrogant of me to think that I know who people should become or what the world needs to look like. Today, I am of the belief that the trick is to keep myself evolving and healing on one side, and on the other side- keep deepening my understanding of the wiorld and keep engaging with the world without expectations, judgement, blame or fear. Somehow, when I manage to show up and connect open-minded and open-hearted, the world and people in fact seem different. So, I would say hell is perceiving other people without engaging with them. I used to say that if I spend quality time with even the worst person, I will find their humanity and explanation for their actions (explanation, not agreement ).
I love ‘changemaker in recovery’, Natalia. I am too! Thinking you can be a changemaker when deep down you know you aren’t able to do what you think you should is exhausting. I will say that the ability to engage with everyone is beyond me. So far I have found there are some people I have engaged with that can really wipe me out, sometimes for days. But ideally, even though I am not engaging, I can understand they have their path and it is the right one for them to follow. Thanks for commenting!
It's always nice to meet another ‘changemaker in recovery’. It is indeed exhausting to be on that path and I am glad I am off it- I think I had a few burnouts trying to do that! I did not imply that we need to engage with everyone- that's also pretty exhausting. 😍
No you didn’t! I think I was reflecting on how I have been driven for much of my life to engage, engage, engage. Engaging was the thing to do! These days I see how unfruitful and even damaging some of this driven engagement has been for me. Although I really enjoy engaging with you around these topics. Thanks, Natalia!
Oh, I relate to this. I spent the majority of my career surrounded by highly extroverted A personalities trying to be the same. "Engage, engage, engage" was the name of the game indeed. Very exhausting for an introvert like me...😂 Thanks, Heidi!
I resonate with this. I used to say, "There it's not a person in the world I couldn't love once I've heard their story." That's a bit different now - I love regardless of story! I now see that as a bridge pointer
Curious what you mean by "hell is perceiving other people without engaging with them," Natalia?
And I love, "change maker in recovery"!
What I meant is that, on one side, when we judge people based only on our perception and without engaging with them to hear their point, we create stories about them that sound like hell but they are not truthful. We see this a lot in any polarizations. Then on the other side, you are right. The next stage is when we transcend this and we love them no matter what.
Heidi, I love this post and all of your writings and reflections. And the Sartre quote is one of my favorites, tho I don't repeat it much either!
I might add this:
There IS an Unconditional Peace available to us, That which we are. It's not necessarily "peaceful" or comfortable in the body-mind experience, but seated in the Self is the resting point of Stillness.
I believe what you are pointing to is mental or physical or emotional comfort or bliss, so to speak, no? That definitely comes and goes!
Here, the joke is that there is no individual desire to help or live as a bodhisattva. Yet, the work happens, the helping happens, and - I'm quite sure - the hell happens, too.
The joke's always on the "me"!
Thanks for clarifying this, Erin.
I can see the story about the people crawling through the desert and finding paradise would point to temporary bliss! I remember how much I thought that was what I was seeking for so many years.
I think the hell I see in myself and other people has a lot to do with clinging to how it’s supposed to be. It’s painful seeing this!
Appreciate the reminder that Peace can be there even in hell. Also that it all happens- work, helping and hell.
Thinking of the Zen proverb appropriate for this time of year- “Spring comes and the grass grows on its own.”
Beautiful. I always love your quotes and sayings. Absolutely beautiful. 🍀